Southport 2017
2017 – Southport 16th – 18th June (Fathers Day)
Course 8/10 Hotel 6/10 Location 6/10
This years SGC took us to the North West of England, courtesy of last years winner Richard Clancey. Richard (Monkey) stated when asked about his choice of location “It reminds me of my childhood days hanging around Wetherspoons init”. This childhood sentiment, coupled with Paul Brittan’s selfish approach to not leaving the country, Southport was chosen.
It later became apparent that Monkey was banned from all Wetherspoons for life due to his constant touching of old ladies (something which Charlie Norman was very interested in hearing stories about during the weekend) and that Chopper is not allowed overseas by his wife due to his very fragile Mental Health.
We also welcomed back two old faces Jonnie Press and Dominic Arend. Dom’s legendary SGC status of leading the first day only to nearly finish last in Bournemouth still stands as the biggest last day collapse. Also a Welcome back to Paul ‘I’m doing my hair’ Watts, who eventually built up the courage to ask his wife if he could come out to play. Only took him 5 years. Ian Pankhurst also joined us, being allowed a temporary break from crying to come along this year. And a warm welcome (via many shots) was given to this years newbie Riggers..
The usual attendees of David Etere (Stotfold), Paul Brittan (Erdington – Birmingham), Mark Brittan (Tamworth), Martyn Shepherd (Newmarket), Lee Howells (the Valleys), Iain Logan (Wales, Scotland and England), Richard Clancey (Slough), Charlie Norman (Slough) and Mark Cope (Up Norf’).
Day 1 Hesketh Better Ball Pairs (Pairs in separate groups)
The morning was spent travelling to Southport from various places in England. Trips up the M1/M6 to arrive circa 12:30. last to arrive was myself and first to spill a drink was also myself all over my golf trousers. Every cloud… it also spilt over Brits’s sandwich…
Rules and handicaps announced, it was time for the warm ups and the ball throwing for pairs and the playing order.
First off (as is the new tradition) was the reigning champion Monkey. Shocking slice right of the fairway.
Scores were pretty average on day 1, think 34 points was the highest. Copey and Etere came second to Brits and Panky, Panky shooting only a shocking 29 points but was carried around by Brits scoring of 34 points.
A sumptuous meal was laid on by the organizer Monkey of Chips and Egg Mayo sandwiches ! these tasty morsels arrived around 2hours after we finished our golf!!
Monkeys organizing so far 5/10
S0 it was 10 mins drive back to our luxury hotel for the weekend. Jonny Press and Dominic had already spent a night at the exclusive 5 * hotel and we very impressed!! 🙂
checking in at 8:30 we agreed to shower and meet at the pub opposite at 9:00pm, only Brits fancied the peter kay lookalike entertainment where the average age was a good 10 years older than Charlie Normans normal targets (80).
Cant remember much from the rest of the night think it was pubs, The avenue, casino and bed.
Up for breakfast at 9:00 (The breakfast perfectly met my expectations of said quality of hotel) – arrived at the course (Formby Hall) for the 9 hole par 3 (only 7 of us managed to attend) – Starving we all looked forward to our meal at the Golf Venue before our round and yet again Monkey didn’t disappoint us – More sandwiches and chips!!
Monkey Organising – 5.5 / 10
Monkey would be great at organizing a childrens party, just missing the jelly and ice cream!
Weather Check: 29 Degrees (HOT), no wind and no clouds!!
Average Water consumed during round : 2 Litres
Average score during round 26
Lowest score: 13 Jonny Press playing off 30 ( 3 shots worse than CHOPPERS previous record low score)
Highest Score and leaders after the first round: Dom, Brits both on 34 points
Most surprising scores of day 1 !!
Shep playing off 30 shoots 30 points (that’s still 36 over handicap!) & Reigning champ on 26 points!, equivalent to playing off a handicap of 16!
Couple of pints after the golf, some photos with the wedding guests and another 22 hour wait for the hottest meat and potato pie this side of the equator.
Another scoot back to the Luxury Hotel and 30 mins again to shower, change and meet over the road. This time the fines were dished out by an angry Logs…
Ginge and Wattsy were accused of cheating – Fined Brits was accused of being ugly and annoying – Fined. Riggers was also fined for a few wetties on the course, much to his enjoyment. The committee decided to change the fine master and offered the youngest member of our group the chance to step up after years in the shadows. Copey accepted and after making a few silly mistakes did well.
The subject of Ginge and Wattsy cheating will probably roll on for a good few years!!
On to the outside pub where we were not allowed in because Dominic was wearing his football training gear! Everyone else dressed up in nice shoes whilst Dom thought Shin Pads and moulded studs were in order.
So back to The Avenue for more beers, a little sing song and more shots. Pankies reputation as a stupid cock didn’t disappoint and a couple of words from Brits and I ensured the shots stopped! Some people had 7 or 8 before 10:30!
More of the same
People arrived back to our hotel between 3- 5 with the exception of Chopper and Riggers who were tucked up in bed at 12:00!!
Monkeys organizing skills took a further boost when he announced the tee times for the final day (knowing we all had a 4 hour drive home afterwards) 1:40pm!!! Meaning we all wouldn’t be home until 10-11 pm!!
Another course where course guides are not needed. 🙂
The wooden spoon group of Ginge, Pressie, Riggers and CHOPPER went off first, followed by Copey, Monkey and Myself. Hanky, Wattsy and Logs followed next then the final 4 ball of Shep (lol), Norms, Brits and Dom.
Highlights
Copey and I 11 points on Front 9!!
Nearly a hole in 1 by myself
Norms Hits 7 points on back 9 to go from 3rd to 11th!!
Monkey shoots best round of the weekend 37 points
Pressie came last, but off a handicap of 45 did manage to shoot 21 points, meaning he went round in 60 over!!
Cant remember who won
Overall for Monkey 6/10
Till next time
